Thoughts of a Dead Soul
by Happy Pappy
Summary: His last trace of humanity. His last signs of life. His last memorys of his friend. All a waste.


Thoughts of a Dead Soul

Rating: PG13+

Category: Drama, Angst

Summary: His last trace of humanity. His last signs of life. His last memorys of his friend. All a waste...

Note: This story is based after the GitS movies.

Disclaimer: I own no part of Ghost in the Shell, characters, or trademarks.

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It was just something to ease the pain. The pain of living life without life. It helped.

Fabrication Shock.

That was what it was called. The newspapers and reports called it a drug. Just when everyone thought that they'd finally gotten rid of all the drugs that terrorized the planet for ages. Marijuana, cocaine, PCP, all of it. The National Drug Prevention Assosciation was just about to announce their success when word of FS hit the streets.

Who created it? No one really knew, or cared. Who could name the founder of any other drug? Perhaps someone once knew who did but it was all probably lost in their high.

Thoughts were lost due to drugs, pains misplaced, and sorrows forgotten. That was what Fabrication Shock did, that was what Batou wanted.

To forget everything. The world's troubles, his troubles, everything. He didnt want to have to worry anymore.

So, Batou leaned back in his chair and let out a sigh as he opened the small box that contained his supplies. Everything he needed was in that small little container of instruments.

The lid to the box came off and Batou's cybernetic eyes skimmed over what was inside. His hands caressed the metallic rod. A sharp, copper tip stuck from one side of the rod and a small dial protruded from the side. It was Batou's savior.

The large cyborg laid the rod onto his lap and removed a small canister from the box. He looked at the meter that showed on one side of the round container. Less than half full. He would have to find some way to get ahold of some more FS. It didnt bother Batou too much thought. He would get it. Somehow.

He pushed the sharp tip of the rod into the soft cover of the container. The meter slowly began to decrease as the rod filled with the energy held inside his container.

As the rod became full, Batou removed it and wiggled it a bit in between his fingers in order to make sure all the particles inside were active. Finally, he inhaled a long breath of air before inserting the rod deep into his left arm.

It took a moment for the FS to take it's effect but when it did, Batou knew it. As the drug made it's way through Batou's cybernetic shell, he began to feel a great sense of uforyria. His senses dulled and vision blurred before he lost all feeling in his body. His mind flew back and forth, expressing different feelings and emotions at the blink of an eye as the FS took it's toll.

It was an interesting drug. Just a large amount of electrical energy inserted into a cyborg's body that jambled and caused his circuits to malfunction. The effet caused the cyborg to feel a great sense of freedom and to lose all control of his bodily function, as well as a great disfunction with the mind.

However, like all the drugs that came before it, FS did have it's negative qualities. The exposure to such large amounts of energy could cause permanent damage to the body's cybernetics. The user could also do something reckless while under the influence of the Shock. All those were risks Batou was very willing to take in order to take him out of reality for a few hours.

As the FS made it's way through Batou's mind, it triggered various thoughts and memorys to race back to the surface. The first came of his first days as a Section 9 officer. Working with the his comrades, Ishikawa, Saito, and Aramaki. As time progressed, names such as Togusa, Azuma, and several others near the end of his career.

The memory of his retirement from Section 9 was very clear in his mind. He recalled the protest of the younger officers and the dumbfounded yet knowing look of Chief Aramaki as he signed the paperwork that allowed his retirement. That had occured only last week, about a month after he began his addiction to Fabrication Shock.

Megatech would come calling in a little while. He knew that and everyone else did. If an officer were to 'retire' from Section 9 then he would have to give back all of the goverment's property. Batou's cybernetic body belonged to the goverment and Megatech and they would be wanting it back.

Personally, Batou did not give a hoot. He hated the shell that encased his ghost and would be happy to be rid of it even if it meant he would simply be a brain floating in a glass tube for the rest of his days.

Leaning back in his seat, Batou let out a deep sigh as the memory quickly pushed it's way out of his mind and he recalled deeper emotions as a face appeared in his head.

It was blurry at first but Batou knew who it was. A ghost from his past that had haunted his dreams and thoughts ever since the last time he saw her. Ever since the day she'd abandoned him.

A tough-as-nails look was plastered on her heavenly face that was slightly covered by her rather untended black locks which only added to her beauty.

Words came from Batou's mouth in a inaudible voice. It was difficult for one to talk while under the effects of FS but Batou knew what he'd spoken so nostalgically.

"Motoko."

Major Motoko Kusanagi. She'd left him to pursue her own dreams with the help from the 'thing' known as The Puppet Master. That moment returned to him every day that he lived. He only blamed himself.

If he'd only done his duty. If he'd just eliminated the Puppet Master when he could. Motoko couldnt have stopped him, she could barely move herself after the hell she'd just been through. A simple bullet through the head would have granted him the oppurtunity to stay with Major Kusanagi for the rest of his days. It was his fault!

Gripping in container of FS with a newfound force, Batou shoved the rod back into the top and slowly began to drain the remainder of the drug from it's bottle.

Section 9. Humanity. Cybernetic. Drugs. Politics. Sadness. Hope. Despair. Motoko.

The Facrication Shock wasnt working. Even in his high, his thoughts were still stuck on the troubles of his life. It wasnt enough. He needed more. Just a little more to free his mind of the grip of his fate.

The pounding from outside didnt even reach his ears as he shoved the tip of the rod deep into his arm. The energy flowed from the rod into his shell and Batou could feel everything begin to slip away.

The cyborg stood and stumbled into the kitchen as the pounding grew closer. His vision was dim and blurry as he tipped over the dog bowl that had been empty for the past month and fell onto the counter. His hands moved without his order and his fingers gripped the wooden hilt of a kitchen knife.

After letting out a howl of torment, Batou ran to the nearby wall with a shocking burst of energy and began slashing at the ugly wallpaper with the knife. All the while shouting incomprehendable statements. He dropped the knife just as the face of the his ghost appeared before his eyes and for the first time in years, Batou felt the presence of his Major.

A loud crash came into the living room as a squad of armed infantry entered Batou's home and scanned the area any sign of their target. Nothing in the living room.

The soldiers split up and searched the area but it didnt take long for them to find what they were looking for.

The depressing remains of a cyborg lay in a heap on the kitchen floor. A rod protruded from his left arm, indicating his death from Fabrication Shock overdose and a nearby knife laying next to him. The wall he died next to had a nearly unlegible carving on it. After further inspection, the soldiers were able to make out the writing but it didnt help them as they could not comprehend the meaning of the strange numbers.

2501.

fin


End file.
